The Pain Within
by fbeauchamphartz
Summary: Sebastian knows that Kurt is keeping a secret from him - a secret that causes Kurt to wake up at night screaming - but Kurt won't tell him what it is. But as Sebastian becomes more and more a true vampire, he doesn't need Kurt to tell him. Kurt's blood is giving him the information he wants to know. Written as a follow-up to Saving Your Heart for Me. Kurt H. Sebastian S.


**Sebastian knows that Kurt is keeping a secret from him - a secret that causes Kurt to wake up at night screaming - but Kurt won't tell him what it is. But as Sebastian becomes more and more a true vampire, he doesn't need Kurt to tell him.**

 **Kurt's blood is giving him the information he wants to know.**

 **Comes after "Saving Your Heart for Me"**

"Oh…oh God, Sebastian…oh God…"

Kurt clamps his hands down on the headboard, making the thing shake as his fingers curl around the metal bars. They don't worry about complaining neighbors. With the amount of subway trains that pass by their building day and night, metallic rattling against thin drywall becomes white noise after a while. Kurt rolls his head on his neck, lengthening the column of his throat for Sebastian, giving him permission to do his worst.

Sebastian moves from the spot below Kurt's ear down to the place where his neck meets his shoulder and sinks his fangs in.

Kurt's body tightens, legs wrapping around Sebastian's, and his eyelids squeeze shut.

"Yes!" he gasps. "Oh God, yes! Right there!" Sebastian smiles into the bite he's made, licking behind his teeth for a taste of Kurt's heat. He loves Kurt's reaction. Sebastian knew he would get it. That happens to be Kurt's favorite spot. Sebastian wishes he could sit tight and ride the wave of Kurt's euphoria, but he can't – not as easily this time as others.

There's something Kurt's not telling him. Sebastian doesn't need his newly attuned vampire senses to know. Sebastian can't fault Kurt for his secrets. Sebastian has kept a few doozies from Kurt – secrets that led them to the position they're in, with Sebastian becoming an immortal demon and all. But this secret Kurt's holding on to haunts his dreams. It wakes him up, screaming.

Some nights, Kurt doesn't even sleep.

Like tonight.

Kurt's bouts of insomnia are impossible to predict.

One minute, they're walking home from the train, and Kurt's complaining about how exhausted he is. Then something happens – what, Sebastian doesn't know. Kurt stops walking, then he changes direction, pulling them down a different route. He shudders like it's fifteen below zero, but it's the start of summer, and the late night heat wave has already started to set in. They're barely a foot through the door to their apartment before Kurt is all over him – kissing, biting, begging, with a crack in his voice that Sebastian knows has nothing to do with Kurt feeling horny.

At first, Sebastian enjoyed it more than he worried. It meant long nights making love to Kurt, or doing what he's doing now.

Biting. Decorating his boyfriend's long, lean body, and porcelain skin with delicate nibbles from Sebastian's retracted fangs until Kurt cries out in ecstasy and cums. Kurt has a thing for biting, as long as it comes from his boyfriend. He can orgasm off being bitten again and again – more times than he can by being intimate in any other way.

Kurt uses it as an escape and Sebastian doesn't mind.

But Kurt's nightmares are becoming more frequent, and as Sebastian becomes more and more the evil that transformed him, he thinks he might know why.

Sebastian knows because he's started having visions. Kurt's blood gives him visions.

After biting Kurt and ingesting a lick of his blood, Sebastian gets visions of Kurt's past, memories of his present, his thoughts, his dreams…

A few times, Sebastian thinks he may have gotten a glimpse of the monster who changed him.

Sebastian remembers the night he was reborn in flashes, like waking up from a long sleep and trying to recapture the last dream he had. He asked Kurt several times who he had found to do it, but Kurt's answer was vague. That didn't matter as much as the state Kurt was in when Sebastian finally opened his eyes – beaten, bruised, timid, as if the fire in Kurt that never let him back down from a fight had been stomped out. Sebastian didn't learn the terms of their arrangement. He didn't know what Kurt had offered the vampire in return for saving his life. Kurt said he had had to defend Sebastian from the beast; that the vampire had almost reneged on their deal. That was all. Sebastian figured that if the stories about vampires were true – about their superhuman strength and speed – that would explain Kurt's broken fingers and his ribs, his fractured cheekbone and his swollen eye, his multitude of contusions, bites, and scratches. They were able to get the bones set and the scratches stitched up with the help of a nurse who lives in their building, but the bites would have become scars. Sebastian started biting over them, claiming them for his own, and that's when Kurt realized he had this biting kink. Not only that, he couldn't get enough.

Sebastian has re-bitten those marks so many times, there shouldn't be a shred of the monster left in or on Kurt…but there is. He's hiding within Kurt – inside his memory.

Kurt won't tell Sebastian with words, but Kurt's blood speaks to him. It seems to be the pathway in.

Every day Sebastian changes, becomes more the monster, and he fights hard to keep the fragments of his splintering soul intact. As long as he has Kurt, he can do it. But this new ability he has allows him to invade Kurt's privacy, which in itself is its own evil. Sebastian has seen things he didn't know about, learned things Kurt would never have told him.

And that's when Sebastian found him. The vampire hidden in Kurt's memory.

But it's not just an image of him stuffed in the folds of Kurt's brain. There's a pain that goes with it – a deeply embedded, excruciating pain.

A bite and a lick, and Sebastian sees his eyes – glowing red coals in the shadows of Kurt's thoughts. Another bite and a lick, and Sebastian feels his arm wrenched behind his back, a sharp kick to his right side, and hears a crack as a bone breaks. A third bite and a lick. This pain is worse. It starts in his lower back and radiates down to his knees. Not his lower back – further down, and it's accompanied by a scream.

Kurt's scream.

Then there's the laughter – wicked, merciless chortles – followed by horrible slurs: faggot, whore, slut.

A sick swell of concentrated venom swirls within Sebastian's stomach. He bites and licks, bites and licks, and intermixed with Kurt's gasps and moans of supreme pleasure, his memories paint a picture of that night – a picture of violence, a picture of torture, a picture of something more horrible than Sebastian could have ever conceived.

All of it the price for his immortality.

Sebastian should have fucking agreed to go back to Ohio. He should have been a big boy and let his parents admit him to the hospital instead of romanticizing the idea of dying in Kurt's arms. He forced this on Kurt. He did it, as sure as if he had pressed Kurt's face into the carpet and attacked him himself.

"Oh, Sebastian," Kurt whines. "More…please…I'm cumming…"

Sebastian moves down Kurt's chest and bites his flank. He opens the fly to Kurt's jeans to get at Kurt's hip, hiding his face and the red tears streaking down his cheeks.

"Do you want me to…"

"N-no," Kurt says, cutting Sebastian off quickly, knowing what he's offering, "not this time…just…"

Sebastian finds the pulse in Kurt's thigh and bites down hard, digs his fangs in deep, and as Kurt cums, his cock shooting cum inches from Sebastian's face, Sebastian is assaulted by images – punches, kicks, Kurt being dragged to the ground by his neck, hair pulled till his back bends, all those scratches, all those broken bones, all those bites…

Sebastian can see the monster – his blood red lips, his cruel smile, his blazing eyes - not only because Kurt remembers him, but because he's tasted Kurt. His venom still lingers in Kurt's blood.

"Sebastian…" Kurt drawls, threading his fingers into his boyfriend's hair. Sebastian feels his fingers scratching, feels Kurt's heart pounding as Kurt's pulse races against his lips.

Sebastian hears the echo of one final scream, and the words that Kurt cries as he screams himself awake.

No! Leave me…leave me alone!

"Sebastian?" Kurt tugs lightly at Sebastian's hair, trying to lure him back up his body, and Sebastian obeys, taking a moment to wipe his face clean on the fitted sheet before he faces his boyfriend again.

Kurt relaxes into his pillows, smiling a little dizzy, laughing unguarded, so content…just plain happy.

Sebastian hates to do this to him, but he needs to know now, as the blood lust rises within him, as he feels hate take over. With the smell of the bastard's venom in his nostrils, he has a chance to find the right person to direct his anger at – the one who hurt his Kurt.

"Kurt…love?" Sebastian asks, nuzzling into Kurt's neck, needing the scent of him to soothe his nerves and get the words out.

"Hmm, yes?" Kurt asks, moving his neck aside, giving Sebastian room for more bites if he wants to give them.

"I want to ask you a favor." Sebastian nibbles down the length of Kurt's neck and Kurt giggles, flying high.

"Mmmm, anything," he says, his legs relaxing around Sebastian's thighs but staying in place to keep them connected.

"I'm going to ask you a question," Sebastian says, stalling, feeling like the vilest of all monsters, pulling Kurt away from this safe place, "and I need you to answer me…completely and honestly."

"Of course I will," Kurt answers, either not detecting the serious note in Sebastian's voice as it starts changing or too drunk on Sebastian's bites to care. "Ask away."

Sebastian waits until Kurt's swaying head comes to a stop.

"The vampire who changed me…" Sebastian starts.

Kurt stops breathing. He stops smiling. He stops laughing. He stares at Sebastian with trembling lips and eyes wide with fear.

Not fear of Sebastian.

Fear of remembering.

"Y-yes?"

Sebastian raises his head to catch Kurt's eyes, his own glowing red, fangs extending to their full length. He claws into the mattress beneath them with a strength he's never fully explored. It's a strength he's going to start honing.

A strength he's going to need as a hunter.

"Tell me about him," Sebastian hisses, swallowing down the last of Kurt's blood on his tongue, taking what little humanity he has left with it. "Tell me what he did to you."


End file.
